All the Hate Mail!

THE THOUGHT ORPHANAGE!
- an elan gale nightmare - a blog - a disease - a problem - a dog without a home
Update: a THREAT from my neighbors:

So, I came home from work and found this on my door. “Kristy,” or Ms. X. as I call her, has apparently been tipped off. So I guess she’s reading this now also so I’ll just switch tones and address her directly. Here we go:

Hi Kristy
Thanks for your note. I especially enjoyed the misspelling of my name and the super terrifying use of duct tape. 
I guess things have been a little more complicated for the last few days for you than usual (although not much more, you and John fight ALL THE TIME), and I guess that’s partially due to me.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize. 
I would like to, but unfortunately, I cannot, because I am completely without remorse. Your little squabbles with your gambling-addicted boyfriend have tormented me at all hours for two years, so if you’ve had a crappy couple of days, I guess we’re close to even.

I can tell you’re upset, but here’s the thing: You posted a threat on my door. Not cool, “Kristy.” I say you and I just go back to our old ways. I won’t bother you and maybe you and John can learn to use your “inside voices.”

Deal? I’ll consider it a deal unless I hear otherwise.
Love, 
Elan 
PS “Dead Man” is two words.

Update: a THREAT from my neighbors:

So, I came home from work and found this on my door. “Kristy,” or Ms. X. as I call her, has apparently been tipped off. So I guess she’s reading this now also so I’ll just switch tones and address her directly. Here we go:

Hi Kristy

Thanks for your note. I especially enjoyed the misspelling of my name and the super terrifying use of duct tape. 

I guess things have been a little more complicated for the last few days for you than usual (although not much more, you and John fight ALL THE TIME), and I guess that’s partially due to me.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize. 

I would like to, but unfortunately, I cannot, because I am completely without remorse. Your little squabbles with your gambling-addicted boyfriend have tormented me at all hours for two years, so if you’ve had a crappy couple of days, I guess we’re close to even.

I can tell you’re upset, but here’s the thing: You posted a threat on my door. Not cool, “Kristy.” I say you and I just go back to our old ways. I won’t bother you and maybe you and John can learn to use your “inside voices.”

Deal? I’ll consider it a deal unless I hear otherwise.

Love, 

Elan 

PS “Dead Man” is two words.

  1. 17unforgivensins reblogged this from theyearofelan
  2. jennyaustin reblogged this from theyearofelan
  3. ionicthunder reblogged this from theyearofelan and added:
    love this. It should be titled “Chronicles...Shitty Neighbors.”
  4. ltlmonkey said: Can this possibly be real????? I really like you, but feel like you are messing me!
  5. kat425 said: It’s been interesting to hear about all your accouints of the neighbors fighting. I’m planning a move to LA in a few months, though, and this is making me slightly apprehensive. Hope mine will be really nice!
  6. kat425 reblogged this from theyearofelan and added:
    The Year of Elan is a Must-Read! See previous Neighbor installments!
  7. tglstory reblogged this from theyearofelan and added:
    god… can’t wait...exciting season finale.
  8. isaacmarion said: The part about how you’d like to apologize but can’t is the funniest line I’ve heard in a while. I’m definitely using that.
  9. gerryduggan reblogged this from theyearofelan
  10. theyearofelan posted this